Steak and Blowjob Day

It’s steak and blowjob day today, which confused me for a long time because it seemed like you would really have your mouth full, until I realised that the steak was for them, not you.

Which seems desperately unfair, but then I’m not much of a fan of any of these ‘Days’ which our calendar seems increasingly full of- Star Wars Day, Pi Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc.

Basically, I don’t like Days, with all their pomp and pressure and look-at-me sort of swagger. I like days, which let me quietly get on with the business of getting older, and seeing people without being held to some sort of flower-and-chocolate ransom.I’m not very good at remembering important dates at the best of times, although I am blessed with a Mother who is even worse- last year she called my little sister 3 times on her birthday to discuss upcoming travel arrangements, not mentioning her birthday once, even though my sister asked several times if ‘she had anything to say’.

In fact, my Mother was rather frustrated by this, and accused my sister of ‘not focusing or paying attention’; the irony of which I made sure to highlight in my subsequent email to my Mother, helpfully titled: The Day You Forgot Emma’s Birthday.

If I’m being totally frank, I’m not that big a fan of birthdays. I like my own, naturally, because I’m not dead inside, but other peoples I could do without. Christmas and Easter- that’s where I’m focusing my energies. And Thanksgiving, which may just be the perfect Day- no presents or fancy dinner reservations, no fawning on another person, all food. Which, once again means you’d have your mouth full, but somehow seems less hazardous.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s