The importance of grooming

Oh hello there. This is a post mostly to show people how up-to-date and politically aware I am. (Also, I am delighted to share my newly found knowledge, which is that you can GET THE TV ON THE BBC WEBSITE). Anyway, the Culture Committee Investigations were terribly good yesterday. I especially liked it when Mensch grilled Brooks, mostly because of the eyebrows. Here are some helpful grooming tips from me (I am the most groomed. I’m like the Shih-Tzu of the human world)

1. Eyebrows. Have them shaped. It’s painful. Sometimes it makes you sneeze. It takes much longer than you would expect. You can use this excess time to wonder why your eyebrow hairs are so firmly embedded into your tender scalp. You can question if eyebrow shaping is more or less painful than scalping. You can wonder if the waxist has gone rogue and is now removing all of your eyebrow. There’s plenty to keep you occupied.

2. Hair. Brush it. (It’s important to look presentable).

3. Nails. I am a huge fan of painted nails. Except on goths, because it looks like they’ve contracted some incurable disease, and have me reaching for my baby wipes. (I would like to take this opportunity to explain that baby wipes are certainly not just for babies. Unless by ‘baby’ you mean very together and clean adult who smells not at all like a nursery). Personally, I never paint my fingernails because the colour distracts me, and I spend all my working day admiring my hands. Which is less productive than you would think.

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