Don’t lick your loafer

Things I have learnt today:

1. It’s Thursday! How splendid. I went to the opera yesterday (yes, sometimes I like to get my culture on. Especially if there is ice-cream involved. In fact, perhaps the word I am looking for here is ‘exclusively’), so today I decided to sing my morning routine. It is important to allow culture to percolate into your life. It is also important to check if your neighbours are leaving at the same time as you, so they are not treated to a rousing rendition of ‘putting my key in the lock, la la la, forgotten my phone- crap, la la la, opening the door again, la la la’. I mean, i haven’t even had time to pop to the UK copyright service.

2. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Well, actually, do judge a BOOK by its cover (there’s a whole micro-world of people who investigate what makes people pick up books and targets readers accordingly), but don’t you know, judge people. By their covers. By which I mean clothes (though bed-linen would work too). I was at the gym today, being polite. I smiled kindly and thanked the cleaning lady as I took a towel off her. I was smugly changing until I noticed that I had in fact just wrenched a towel off another gymgoer. (It’s those damn trackies).

3. If you spill some yoghurt on your loafer, it will not come off. Especially if you lick your finger to rub it off.