Dinner party revelations

Last night’s dinner party revelations:

1. My friend has been paying a gym membership in Oxford for the last 14 months without noticing (it could happen to the best of us) and is now too embarrassed to call them and let them know*

2. Everyone else knows what Burberry are doing, social media wise. I actually was recently given a Burberry mac. Well, I’m not sure if it really qualifies as a mac. It doesn’t have those nice floppy lapels that say ‘I spent so much money on this they gave me all this free material- look, here it is, chilling on my shoulders’, or a belt. So it’s more like a raincoat really. While wearing it I assumed I looked like a French love-child of Cheryl Cole and Serge Gainsbourg (effortlessly cool and impossibly pretty). I think I might look somewhat more like Inspector Gadget. I hope no-one asks me for directions.

3. The business card is over. Now it’s all about monogramming real-life objects. What could be more persuasive than a bottle of gin with your name on it? You could hand out proper sized ones to big clients and prospects, and disarmingly put people in their places with an airplane-size bottle. I suppose the business card holder needs to be re-imagined too. I’m thinking of a partnership between Tesco and Lulu Guinness. What else says charming practicality?

4. The interns are the best dressed people in the office. Well, of course they are! Someone else does their laundry! They still live at home! Everything is lovely! Last week I took to eating pasta while balancing a beach towel on top of my clothes. This obviously involves eating at an entirely uncomfortable 30 degree backward slant to keep the ruddy towel in position. Still, postponed putting the washing on for at least a day, so utterly worth it.

*Said friend wants to refute this and explain that she has cunningly negotiated a 18-month ‘free’ membership with them. Though unfortunately they do not have any branches near either her home or work. Obviously for such a hardened gym bunny this will be of no importance.

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