Last week, I was invited to South Africa.
I didn’t realise this at first, because I rarely read my emails, so I toddled around as normal. Then my Grandfather called me. ‘Lucy,’ he began sternly. ‘You must keep on top of your correspondence.’ I thought this was rather unfair. I keep all of my actual, real-life post in a very neat pile at the bottom of my wardrobe.
(Well, it starts its life very neatly, but it shares its home with my shoes, which I tend to need fairly regularly, so there might be some disturbance). ‘I’m sorry,’ I said quickly to my Grandpa. ‘If only the weather were better. My flip-flops live in quite a different part of my wardrobe.’ My Grandfather continued as if I had not spoken. ‘You simply must tell us what dates you want to come to South Africa,’ He said. ‘I am free all the time,’ I replied cheerfully. ‘What are we talking about?’
Apparently, people nowadays are using emails to offer things other than ‘miracle weight-loss cures’, and I should probably start reading mine.
Anyway, we’re off to South Africa. I still haven’t quite worked out when (don’t tell my Grandfather- he has sent several emails with detailed itineraries) but it’s going to be great. As all of the grandchildren (well, the ones who count) are grown-ups, we are being asked to make a modest financial contribution to the trip.
‘Grandpa has cut us some awesome deal,’ My little sister told me. ‘In which he pays for almost everything, and we pay for petrol.’ I looked at my sister. ‘Why are we buying petrol?’ I asked, bewildered. ‘Oh,’ She replied. ‘He’s renting us a car so we can travel around South Africa independently.’
‘We should probably put some money aside for car snacks,’ I said thoughtfully. ‘Gosh, I might need to get a job.’
I have started my new job. It lasts 2 weeks, and I’m not sure it’s a perfect fit. For a start, they get into the office in the morning. I usually use the morning for sleeping. Equally, they take a single hour, once a day, for lunch. I have carefully attuned my body to an eating model based on endless snacking and continuous eating of foods located in my kitchen. It has all been somewhat of a shock. Luckily, I have had several hours to read my emails, and it really seems that this form of communication is taking off! I recommend checking your emails at least once a week. It is quite amazing what people are using it for.
unfashionablylost 