I speak very little English

Today is the third day of my 2-week job. Well, I think it’s a 2 week job. I have decided to adopt a new personality for this particular job, and am modelling myself on someone who speaks very little English.

(I wanted originally to pretend to be someone who had only recently learnt  a very little English, but I’m terrible at accents. So instead I’m playing a native English speaker who rarely speaks). As someone who speaks very little, I am finding it relatively difficult to find out information. I am, however, perfecting my pleasant smile, which I have taken to inserting into all interactions which would usually involve speech. It is quite remarkable how popular I am in the office.

I assume this job lasts 2 weeks because I have been invited to an ‘office drinks’ event next Friday. It is, however, entirely possible that I have been invited as part of ‘all staff’, and am not really welcome at all. Though I can’t imagine my silently-smiling persona has earned me anything but endless invites. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with someone like that? I’m both inoffensive and mysterious. Little-speaking Lucy is the most popular person in town.

Or at least she would be, if she wasn’t stuck in the office. Though obviously there are plenty of people in the office for me to engage with. Unfortunately, the air conditioning is fiercely effective, and therefore I am forced to huddle around my computer for warmth.

(I don’t usually work in an office- I have no idea how much clothing you are allowed to wear). It is possible that this hunched, silent persona is not as popular as I originally thought. Luckily, she’s only here for 2 more weeks. Or so she thinks.

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