The definition of insanity

Apparently (I could just google this to check for sure, but I like to keep some mystery in my life) the definition of insanity is ‘doing the same thing and expecting different results’. I could not disagree more.

Every evening, just before I fall asleep, I am filled with a sudden sense of purpose. I cannot wait to wake up the next morning and run for miles, finish all my work and tidy my room. I am excited to organise my desk, work out that tax thing everyone keeps talking about and incorporate a casual 45 minute yoga session into my morning routine. I happily set my alarm for 6am, frustrated that I have to wait for all those hours before I can begin my new and organised life.

My alarm rings dutifully (I would like to take this moment to express absolute disbelief at people whose ‘alarms don’t go off’. It’s their single purpose in life. That’s a little bit like saying, ‘this spoon won’t get soup into my mouth’. I’m pretty certain it’s not the spoon’s fault) at 6am, and I bound gratefully out of bed. Or at least I strongly consider doing so. ‘If I get up now, I’ll have endless time. Even with the yoga and taxes and desk tidying, I’ll still be ready to work by about 8am.’

I think about how productive and impressive that would be. ‘Or,’ I continue to think from the delicious confines of my bed, ‘I could just sleep a tiny bit more. That way I’d be fully energised and probably even more productive when I did all that work and admin.’ Now, both of these are excellent arguments. It is only fair to give them equal consideration. Unfortunately, anything given consideration whilst lying in a warm bed in a dark room leads to a single conclusion. ‘I really need the loo,’ I think, and drag myself out of bed. Washing my hands, I notice my own face in the mirror. (You would think this would be less unexpected than it is, but still). I am not sure what has happened between the time I fell asleep (unremarkable face) and the time I woke up (face that is unacceptably awful and must not be allowed out in public) but it’s made my decision for me.

Back to bed it is.

My point (which I am making, just a little bit more laboriously than usual- probably because of all the yoga) is that I truly, honestly believe that one day I will bound out of bed at 6am to do my endless sun salutations. And therefore I’m not stopping setting my alarm. Because if I did, I’d miss that glorious, productivity filled day. And, that, quite frankly, would be insane.

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