I’m quietly perving on photos of my friend’s little brother’s friend. I think this is totally acceptable. The little brother’s friend has a mustache. This means irrefutably that he is a grown-up. (Or at least that he is no longer at school. There are strict rules on facial hair at school. I’m not sure how I know this, having gone to an all-girls school, but it’s true). I’m wondering if it would be charming or creepy to friend request this mustachioed chap. Probably charming, but perhaps a little forward. Nevertheless, I have composed the ‘personal message’ I would include:
Hi! (this exclamation mark will show him how young and hip I still am)
I noticed that you are a film/ music producer! (this exclamation mark might be overkill, but hopefully he will be too impressed that I have read his ‘about me’ to notice, and will just be swept along in my cheery enthusiasm) I myself work in the industry. (This, strictly, is not true. But I have iTunes and a DVD player, so am pretty sure I can bluff my way through). I’d be really interested to hear about your latest project. (This is an outright lie. But people always lie at first. And sometimes for a long time after. I am still telling my Mother that I have simply no idea where her cashmere jumper is). Get in touch- maybe we can grab a drink x (I love ‘grab a drink’. I feel it perfectly conveys my hectic, excessively popular lifestyle. The ‘x’ is to show that, despite the business-like tone of my message, I am flexible enough to consider a more personal relationship).
See? Charming. Oh, I’ve just noticed the boy was born in the 1990s. Maybe this is a little, just a touch, slightly creepy. Luckily, this carefully crafted ‘personal message’ can be adapted to almost anyone. Might be a busy Friday for me…not in a creepy way, obviously.