Tag Archives: housemate

In which I am wise

On Monday, I left the house early, feeling smug. I had carefully packed my gym bag, and left it un-missably opposite the front door. I had a plan. I was going to go to work, then pop home and rush straight out to the gym. ‘Golly,’ I thought as I slammed my front door. ‘It is so easy to be organised. Why do people make such a fuss about it?’

It wasn’t until I got to work that I realised I had forgotten my keys.

Luckily, my housemate (junior doctor, coming off 3 consecutive night-shifts) was at home, lounging around in her bed, so I quickly ran the front door bell upon my return until she stumbled downstairs to let me in.

Yesterday, I was at the theatre, so naturally I ignored the several missed calls I received from both my housemate and my little sister. I arrived home cheerfully just before midnight. ‘Hello!’ I yelled as I entered our flat. ‘I see you guys missed me. But I am home now.’ I was greeted with a frosty silence by my little sister, who had apparently had to curtail her own evening to deliver keys to my housemate, who had forgotten hers. ‘Well,’ I said briskly. ‘That’s very silly.’ My housemate made a facial expression which I believe embodied both her contrition and her quiet appreciation of my words of wisdom.

Today, I forgot my keys.

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Haircuts and compromises

I am in need of a haircut. I am not very good at getting my hair cut- I quickly run out of things to say, and tend to move my head about far too much (which is ironic, as I’m not speaking or anything, simply waving my head about searching the salon for conversational topics).

I have moved, and cunningly taken advantage of this opportunity to give myself a fresh hairdresser beginning(and my poor former hairdresser a well-deserved break). I noticed last night that we have a hairdressing salon just up the road. ‘We should go,’ I told my housemate enthusiastically. (She initially didn’t want a haircut, but I encouraged her to get one, pointing out that her hair looked ‘awful’ and ‘offended my eyes’). We popped out last night to check out the salon. ‘Any cut for £9’, the sign across the salon window promised.

My housemate and I noticed this at  precisely the same time, and turned to look at one another. ‘Brilliant!’ I exclaimed happily. ‘There is not a chance in hell I am letting these people touch my hair,’ My housemate said at the same moment. We paused for a moment in confusion. ‘But it’s £9,’ We both told each other emphatically.

‘We seem to be somewhat at odds here,’ I pointed out helpfully. ‘I propose a compromise. Let’s go to get our haircut here.’ ‘Or,’ My housemate responded. ‘We could not get our haircut here, but find somewhere else, that we both like.’ ‘Hmm,’ I replied. ‘We seem to have reached an impasse.’ I stared at her, to let her know that this was entirely due to her own inability to compromise.

To show her how rational, accommodating grown-ups behave, I waited till she went to work this morning then popped out and got my hair cut. Unfortunately, I became so incensed at a Cosmopolitan article on ‘how to please your man’ that I swung my head around violently just as my hairdresser was cutting me a fringe. It seems my housemate has won, and we will be going to get our haircut somewhere else after all.

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I am the best housemate ever

I have started living with my little sister, which is great. This morning, I woke up at 7.15am (it’s this new thing I’m trying- but it’s much worse than getting up at 11am, so I’m stopping it immediately), and wandered into my sister’s room. ‘Hello!’ I said. ‘I’m asleep,’ She groaned. ‘But I have a very bad tummy ache,’ I said, clambering into her bed. ‘And you’re a doctor. Please make it go away.’ ‘Please make you go away,’ She replied rudely. ‘And give me back some duvet.’

I slept happily next to my little sister until she began blow-drying her hair impossibly loudly.

‘Ssh,’ I said crossly. ‘I am trying to sleep.’ The hair-dryer was so loud that my sister didn’t even hear me, and was unable to respond or stop blow-drying her hair.

‘Wake up,’ She shouted loudly the second the hair-dryer had stopped attacking my ears. ‘I’m awake,’ I protested sleepily.

I subtly slid the duvet over my head to convince her of the verity of this statement.

‘What are you doing today?’ She asked absent-mindedly. ‘What are you  doing today?’ I asked in reply. ‘Lucy,’ She said firmly. ‘You cannot continue to follow me around. It’s weird.’ ‘I’m just trying to be a good housemate,’ I replied crossly. ‘Have you sorted out the internet yet?’ She asked, irritably. ‘Well, no,’ I replied slowly. ‘But McDonalds has free Wifi. And chips. ‘ ‘I do not want to work in McDonalds,’ My little sister replied grumpily. ‘Me neither,’ I replied, quickly hiding the awesome new toys I have gained from my daily Happy Meals.

I have started living with my little sister, which is great. At least, it is for me.

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