As I said, two of my friends are getting married. (I won’t tell you who, because that’s their news to share, but it’s not Brad and Angelina).
Last night, I was speaking to another friend. ‘You know what just occurred to me?’ I told her excitedly. ‘We are going to have a real life Hen Party!’
‘Mmm,’ My friend replied. She didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic as I was. ‘You understand what that means?’ I asked her anxiously. ‘Absolutely disgustingly trashy behaviour. It’s going to be tremendous.’ ‘I am not coming if there are any fake penises whatsoever,’ My friend told me firmly.
‘What?’ I asked incredulously. ‘What are you talking about? There’s going to be a million penises. Real and fake. And a stripper. And champagne with sparklers in it. And she’s going to have to wear a fake veil. And it’s going to be themed. And the theme is ‘sluts’.’ My friend quietly interrupted me. ‘You know her hen night is not going to be anything like that, don’t you?’ She asked me.
‘And a fireman! A real fireman, not just the stripper fireman, because the party is going to be ON FIRE!’ I shouted at her.
I cannot wait. Tomorrow, I will tell you my plans for the wedding.