My little brother used to tell us, earnestly, that his ‘six pack was on its way’, until my sister pointed out that a six pack was not really something one could order in the post, but irritatingly had to be worked on personally. Far from chastening him, this seemed only to encourage my little brother, who spoke so often that holiday about his ‘soon-to-be-arriving six pack’ that my sister and I began making snide comments about the demise of Royal Mail.
It seems, sadly, that I have fallen into the same trap, because, feeling far from at my fighting weight after an outstandingly good wedding last weekend, this morning was the 3rd time I attempted to get through my flatmate’s DVD of Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. Jillian Michaels, for those of you who spend less time reading trashy magazines and avidly following the fortunes of complete strangers, is the personal trainer most famously seen yelling at morbidly obese Americans on ‘The Biggest Loser’.
Her 30 Day Shred DVD promises that ‘in no time you’ll have a lean shredded body’.
Hugely impressed by this pervasive use of ‘shred’, I shoved the DVD into our PSP (yes, not for us your fancy DVD and Blu-Ray players), pushed all of the sofas back against the wall and got ready for my six pack.
Sadly, I was unable to complete the DVD workout. This was not, despite what my little sister and flatmate were keen to imply, because I found it ‘far too tricky’. Jillian Michaels may be ‘America’s Toughest Personal Trainer’ (in recent days I have become mildly obsessed with Jillian Michaels- aged 12 she was 5’2” and 175 pounds, and suffered ‘verbal abuse’ from her classmates), but she is also one of their most irritating.
Wondering if I was alone in finding her too unpalatable to complete her 20 minute workout, I typed ‘Is Jilian Michaels’ into Google, only to have it autocomplete with ‘married’. Which, I suppose, is fairly apt.