I’m Good In Bed

I like to snuggle. Spooning, hugging, nestling, cuddling- I like it all. I like it in the morning, during naptime, and when I go to sleep. My former housemate calls it ‘huggling’, which I like even more. In the mornings, I often pop into my current housemate’s bed for a cozy chat. (My other housemate is my little sister, and she has developed a highly effective scissor kick which prevents me from hopping into bed with her).
I like to think of myself as a very relaxed, easy-going bed-sharer. Recently, it has been pointed out to me that this is simply not true. ‘No-one likes to share a bed with you,’ My Mother pointed out at a family dinner. The rest of my family nodded in enthusiastic agreement. They then, completely unasked, began to reel off the things they disliked about having me in their bed.
I have been told off, over the years, by family, friends and boyfriends, for the following misdemeanours:
1. Putting my face too close to their faces.
2. Asking pertinent and intrusive questions when they are falling asleep, in a bid to find out the truth.
3. Leaning over them in the morning with my hand just above their mouth- to check if they are still breathing.
4. Rolling my entire self into a ‘duvet sausage roll’ (the duvet is the roll, I am the sausage. The other person is cold).
5. Attempting to begin extremely important conversations at 3.30am, on my return from my night wee.
(This article originally appeared at http://thelondonlook.com/fashion/im-good-in-bed/)