Super Brow!

Superdrug have started doing eyebrow threading, and are offering it half-price in their stores. There are two things I care about when it comes to my eyebrows. One is that they are shaped professionally (a terrible self-plucking incident aged 15 years has had a long-lasting impact), and the second is that they are shaped cheaply.

The first concern is born out of vanity. The second is simple economics. I also refuse to pay hundreds of pounds for bikinis- because you don’t get very much for your money. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe used HGH* for so long that by the end of her life, she had a fine downy cover all over her? I am not Marilyn Monroe. I am not even Alistair Darling.

(I’m making a hairiness point here, not implying that I am regularly confused for either one).

So when I popped into Superdrug to pick up some face wipes (I wasn’t concentrating, so I now seem to be the proud owner of hundreds of nappy wipes)

I was delighted to see that Super Brow! were offering eyebrow threading for a fiver. Once again feeling thankful that I was neither Marilyn Monroe nor Alistair Darling, I went to see the brow lady.

‘Have you had your eyebrows done before?’ She asked me. ‘Yes,’ I replied cheerfully. ‘Many, many times.’ I then worried she thought I needed all my eyebrows removed, what with my insistence on repetition, so hastily added, ‘I usually like to leave some eyebrow on.’ The woman nodded uncomprehendingly. ‘I mean, obviously please remove some of the eyebrow,’ I continued. ‘I mean, otherwise what am I paying you for?’ I laughed nervously. The brow woman did not laugh.

I sat down meekly and had my eyebrows shaped.

In future, I think I will take my cue from another long-standing profession, and allow the brow woman to charge extra for talking. (Me talking, obviously she can talk as freely as she wants. I mean, just because I’m paying her doesn’t mean I own her.)

Possibly it will be better for everyone if I learn how to shape my own eyebrows.

*Human Growth Hormone. It apparently makes users feel younger, slimmer and ‘better’. Side effects as yet not fully known.*

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