‘Are you ready?’ My friend asked me. ‘It’s time to get your game face on.’ I wish she hadn’t reminded me. I have three truly terrible faces:
1. The mirror face
This is when I surreptitiously check myself out in the mirror. My face oddly re-composes itself into a hideous mockery of Princess Di’s coy eye lift. This makes it almost impossible to see what I actually look like. It is the most inconvenient of all my faces.
2. The sleeping face
I like to sleep in the same position wherever I am. Face down, with the pillow pushed up so I’m just clutching on to its left corner with my face, while the rest of it keeps the top of my head warm. You know those beatific photos people take of sleeping lovers/ victims/ children? Even when I’m only pretending to be asleep, I look hideous. This is the most disappointing of all my faces.
3. The game face
Whenever I’m really concentrating, no matter what the activity, I have the same face. It’s appalling. It has ruined every single action shot that has ever been taken of me. Occasionally, my tongue slips a little bit out of my mouth. This is the most embarrassing of all my faces.
(There is a reason there are no images in today’s post)