I’ve moved, and was feeling slightly bereft without the perpetual presence of my contractor. Luckily, the people at the end of my new road are renovating.
I casually strolled to their house, mobile at my ear, laughing uproariously. (Obviously there was no-one on the other end of the call. Other people aren’t that funny). I ‘hung up’ as I saw the builders, and rolled my eyes dramatically. ‘God,’ I said loudly. ‘Some people. All they do is talk. Honestly.’
The builder smiled at me vaguely. ‘I mean,’ I continued. ‘You really get the feeling they’d talk to anyone.’ One of the builders laughed nervously. ‘In fact,’ I said, warming to my theme. ‘They probably walk about all day looking for new friends. New friends to talk to.’ I looked meaningfully at the builders. I let the uncomfortable silence stretch out menacingly. ‘Well,’ I said finally. ‘Thank God we’re not like that.’ It’s early days, but I’m pretty sure we’re all going to get along famously.