Here are the things that make my life much more difficult than it needs to be:
- There is only one plug socket next to my bed. Which is currently hogged by my bedside lamp. And because no matter how hard you try to persuade them, plugs don’t share sockets, my phone and laptop charger are desolately banished, miles from civilization. (And by civilization I mean the delicious warmth of my bed, which I have bravely created by inching my feet ever further down under my duvet).
- Which brings me neatly on to my next complaint. My bed. My bed is too big. (Bear with me, I’ll win you over). My bed is too big, and it is ruining my life. For a start, I have parted with vast sums of money on sheets. Because my bed is too ‘big’ for normal, ordinary sheets. My bed greedily luxuriates in its over-priced, fancypants sheets. (Which are actually slightly less comfortable than normal sheets, because of the pricklings of financial anxiety one gets when you lie on them). My bed, not content with its pernicious influence over my bank balance, has started to extend its reach. My bed does not want me to leave it. It has two methods of ensuring this. Firstly, it hides all things I might possibly need in order to go outside. (It is easy for it to do this, because of the billowing expanse of sheets it casually reclines in). Secondly, it grows surreptitiously in the night, so that when morning arrives my bedroom door is so inconceivably far away that only an incredibly fool-hardy person would risk trekking towards it.
- And finally, the CD part of my CD/Cassette/Radio player is broken. But I’m irresistibly hopeful, every time it tells me mockingly it’s ‘reading disc’. (You might think I would have learnt after the first 30 CDs. If anything, I was even more hopeful).
In fact, possibly it is just that which is really making my life so tricky. Hope. Because like it or not, despite it being 2012 (a year for the advent of robots if ever there was one), we still live in a world where plugs are selfish, beds are demanding and some foolish people think the iPod is going to catch on.