I have made some macaroni cheese. Well, if I’m being strictly, totally, completely honest, it’s not quite ready yet, but I’ve dutifully stirred the sauce, and boiled the pasta, and realised why butter must be kept in its packet at all times (because on the packet are little 50g demarcations!
I’m starting an anti-butter dish movement as we speak), and now I’ve shoved it in the oven and am just waiting for it to get all crispy on top. (It’s either going to be crispy or hopelessly burnt, depending on how distracted I get). I have made macaroni cheese because of my revision schedule. (I mean, it’s not strictly or even slightly a revision schedule, but it’s a schedule scrawled across an A4 piece of lined paper, so it feels like a revision schedule. There should be a word for revision schedules for grown-ups. And don’t say diary. It’s not a diary. It is a masterpiece of wobbly lines and ‘rest’ periods). The great thing about my schedule is that it tells me exactly what I’m meant to be doing at every point of my day. (Some people would hate this, but seeing as I am the creator of the schedule, I love it).
From 12-1pm, Monday to Friday, I am meant to be LUNCH. It is nearly impossible to make a sandwich that takes an hour to prepare. (Don’t say ‘add chicken’, because I have, and that only takes 15 mins to cook. Unless you’re making an Elvis-style sandwich and using an entire chicken. In which case my schedule would be no good for you because there’s no allocated ‘digestion’ time. And you have to go for a run every so often. And you can’t afford to eat a whole chicken every day. My schedule is not suitable for those who wish to emulate Elvis’ eating habits).
The only way a schedule works is if you stick to it. So I am. And seeing as I’m meant to be LUNCH for a whole hour every day, I have had to expand my meal-time repertoire. So I’ve decided to work my way through every ready-meal I usually chuck in the microwave. I’m basically the Kirstie Allsopp of cooking. I hope people are getting excited for my cookbook. It’ll be like Jamie Oliver’s 30-minute meals, only twice as good.