A Perfect Day

‘The thing is,’ my friend begins to tell us sombrely, ‘I feel I am disproportionately happy during the rest of the day. Therefore I like to take this morning time to be a total cow.’ ‘Oh.’ I wonder briefly how long this ‘morning time’ is going to last. I pop out to get a diet coke. I return to see my friend. ‘How’s it going?’ I ask cheerily. My friend ignores me. ‘I’m going to get some water,’ She announces to the room. ‘Oh, could you get me some please?’ My other friend asks. ‘No.’ It’s past 12 o’clock, but it seems my friend is taking her ‘morning time’ extremely seriously. I go for a walk with my other friend. ‘So, you know how we’re sharing a double bed?’ She asks me. ‘Indeed,’ I reply. ‘Would it be at all possible for you to sleep with your face slightly further away from mine?’ ‘Oh.’ I think for a moment. ‘Well, the thing is, I feel my face is disproportionately far away during the rest of the day. So I like to take this ‘sleeping time’ to readjust.’ I’m not certain, but I think between my friend’s ‘morning time’ and my ‘sleeping time’, my other friend is having a splendid day.