Tag Archives: washing machine

Just because it feels good doesn’t make it right

I started playing squash with my great friend when we were at university. Her goal was to own a pair of Canterbury tracksuit bottoms, and seeing as I was rarely out of mine, she asked me if I could get her a pair. ‘There is nothing worse,’ I proclaimed solemnly. ‘Than being one of those people with very nice sports kit, who rarely plays sport. You can get a pair of tracksuit bottoms when we have been playing squash for a term.’ My friend nodded sadly.

Despite playing almost exclusively so that she could earn her ‘post-Squash cigarette’, my friend continued to play at least once a week all term, usually thrashing me soundly.

There is something uniquely admirable about persistence. It is a combination of so many other excellent qualities- hope, determination, self-flagellation.

Unsurprisingly, I am extremely persistent. Here are some recent examples:

1. My therapist was ignoring me, so I began a flurry of emails and texts to get her attention. My commitment to making my therapist my friend is un- paralleled.
2. My housemate has asked me several times to take out the bin when it is over-flowing. I do not like to do this, so have started to place larger items of rubbish next to the bin. This means the bin itself is certainly not ready to be taken out yet.
3. I live with two doctors, and seeing as my working day mostly consists of me looking at my new Christmas pjs admiringly, they have asked if I could let them use the washing machine on the weekends. There is not a single dirty item in my room after Sunday’s marathon washing adventure. When the world doesn’t end on Friday, my housemates are going to look mightily unclean.
4. I ate all 24 of my advent calendar chocolates on the 1st December.

5. A life-long eczema sufferer, several dermatologists and GPs have warned me to avoid dairy. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to our flat’s cheese and wine party this Saturday. I have been known to eat an entire cheese platter, so I would encourage our guests to arrive on time.

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Dry-cleaning

‘I’m doing the most grown-up thing you could imagine,’ I tell my friend as she picks up the phone. There is a worried pause. ‘What is it?’ she asks slowly. ‘I’m picking up my dry-cleaning,’ I tell her smugly.

‘I’m walking down the road with those lovely plastic covering things slung casually over my arm, chatting to you on my phone. People probably think I’m a celebrity.’  I nod kindly to a gentleman as I pass him on the pavement. ‘I’m very bad at dry-cleaning,’ my friend tells me apologetically. ‘I leave it for ages in a pile and never get round to taking it to the dry-cleaners.’Aha!’ I say, delighted. ‘And then, because you’re got loads of things, they give you with a massive bill.’

‘Indeed,’ my friend says sadly. ‘I’m terribly good at dry-cleaning,’ I inform her. ‘I feel like it’s really something I’ve gotten a handle on, vis-à-vis this whole being a grown up thing.’ There is an inarticulate yelp from the other end of the phone. ‘Oh,’ I say quickly. ‘I wouldn’t let it worry you. There’s plenty of things I’m still getting to grips with.’ ‘No, no,’ my friend replies. ‘I’m doing some normal laundry, as it happens, and I’ve managed to skip past one of the stages of the cycle. Did you even know that was possible?’

‘Oh of course,’ I told my friend helpfully. ‘It is possible to do almost anything with a washing machine. Jam it so it won’t give you your clothes back, let it run with no washing powder in, stop it before it’s drained, skip the spin cycle so your clothes are still dripping…’ There is another pause. ‘Well,’ I say finally. ‘I suppose you can see why I’m so keen on dry-cleaning.’

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